Christmastime in the Emerald City











Okay, I do realize that le boyfriend did this exact same idea not that long ago, but I got such an awesome sampling of music videos during the two or so weeks he spent wading his way through crap to find some decent artistic merit that I was inspired to blatantly steal the concept. Also, I just flat out don’t like Fatboy Slim. There, I said it. Other than that, I do think he has rocking taste in music, but the simple fact is that you can only do so much wading in so much time. One is inevitably going to miss a few samples. So, since I’m apparently cool enough to be his girl, I’m hoping I’m cool enough to augment his top ten list with a few opinions of my own.

Plus, my dad is a roadie and junk, meaning I had good music drilled into my head during the formative years. So my opinion is thusly professional and obviously correct.

Disclaimer: These are the Top Ten *videos* not necessarily top ten songs. Frustratingly enough, some of the most awesome songs in the world have lame or no music videos. Hotel California anyone?

Carrying on.

THE BEST MUSIC VIDEOS EVER

Beastie Boys – Body Moving

Are you kidding? You can’t even begin to tell me you don’t have this exact same ninja fantasy. Plus there’s gratuitous violence followed by super-rad medical impossibilities. And swords! And a helicopter chase! It’s gold, Jerry! Gold! Not to mention how unbelievably catchy the song is. If you don’t instantly have this song stuck in your head, you must have termites in there. Gold eating termites. Please seek medical assistance. Preferably from a guy in a powdered wig, because they can apparently fix anything.

Bjork – Bachelorette

Who doesn’t want their thoughts, dreams, hopes and aspirations, My Story, to be accepted and loved by all to the extent of a grandiose stage production? Also an excellent commentary on the treacherous nature of fame, fortune, and our attempts to solidify human concepts so easily crumbled by the forces of nature and our own silly hands.

Also, Bjork is fucking cool. Try walking around in a Swan dress and see what happens.

Busta Rhymes – Gimme Some Mo

How tired are you of shitty rap videos with a bunch of overly-serious, grilled up lame ass thug life wannabes with their pants halfway down their ass leering over a low camera and pointing as many different combinations of fingers at the lens as they can think of while their homies stand menacingly by, waiting for their turn? Probably about as tired as me. Busta Rhymes on the other hand, has some cool ass unique shit, and even when he does do the finger pointing thing, he’s either making fun of those who do it with sincerity, or at the very least is wearing a large foam sombrero.

Missy Elliot – Work It

Missy Elliot is kind of like the female version of Busta Rhymes, aka Hellass Cool. Especially for not flashing her tits like her skankier counterparts and for poking fun at her own culture based media biases, including the pressure to be skinny and get your hair and nails did. Not to mention being able to rock that getup like nobodies business and the little breakdancing girl who looks like Penelope Cruz with reverse Progeria.

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Roller Coaster of Love

Have I told you how much I love animated music videos? No? Well here you go.

Korn – Freak On A Leash

I do think that Korn is pretty much an overall joke, but this video is quite rad. Firstly, it’s animated for a good portion. Secondly, those visuals are awesome. Thirdly, the bullet ripping through a few totems of the all-American boring life – the TV, the birthday party balloons, the cell phone, the office, the corner store, the fat guy in a pool – is fairly poignant. I also like the fuck-youness of the security guard nearly offing a suspicious looking kid that as it turns out was only playing hopscotch. Makes you think twice about being overly assumptive, no?

 Motley Crue – Afraid

So you will have to forgive my ongoing crush on Nikki Sixx here, and perhaps suspend your belief a bit as a fat, suddenly magenta-headed Vince Neil stumbles around in leather pants. It is, beyond all that, a super awesome example of the 80s survivor’s not-often-succesful transmogrification into a newer, cleaner product. Also, fucking Larry Flint is in it, okay? As a guy carving legs. Best the-making-of story ever: Who gets to call Larry Flint and ask if he wants to be in a video where he’s carving legs? Uhhh, Nikki will do it.

Massive Attack – Fucking ANYTHING They’ve Ever Done, EVER!

Teardrop

Protection

Butterfly Caught

Angel

Karmacoma

Seriously, I dare you. Just pick one and tell me it isn’t amazing. It’s like art took ecstasy and vomited up genius.

Michael Jackson – Thriller

If only for affording the opportunity to walk out on the credits in the comfort of your own home. Incidentally, you may recognize the scary-movies-of-yore voice as the legendary Vincent Price. You won’t see him anywhere in the video, however. He thought Michael Jackson was too creepy. All kidding aside though, this is still regarded by most as THE best music video, period. Some would argue November Rain, but as much as I love GnR, that video doesn’t even make it onto my ‘eh’ list. Thriller it is. I know you all think you’ve seen it, and you probably have at some point. But you really need to watch it again, because unless you watched it last week, you have no idea how amazing it really is.

 

And now…..at my personal number one…drumroll please…

 

*drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*

Weird Al Yankovic – Amish Paradise

Shut your face. You know I’m right.

 

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{June 3, 2008}   Quirks: A Sampling

I’m in a pretty good mood right now. I escaped a random near-panic at work with minimal overall damage, and now I’m watching a feel good news story on my fave hip and trendy urban news team, drinking a Stella and watching my boyfriend type away on his blog (which I have been dying to read for like, a week.) There’s a cool breeze, leftovers in the fridge and a clean outfit for tomorrow, meaning I can put off laundry and other chores for another lazy evening.

And that’s when I notice another quirk about myself. I mean I’ve got about a million, and some of them aren’t so awesome (a few of them are apparently called “symptoms,” and sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference, but that’s neither here nor there.) But tonight, I rather amused myself. In fact, there’s a lot of things I find amusing about myself. Let’s face it, I’m kind of awesome and stuff. Here are some quirks things that make me awesome. Maybe some of you count as awesome too?

Quirk #4521

 

 

 

 

 

I. am. FASCINATED by weathermen. With that whole gesturing to an invisible map behind them? Yeah. I know, I know, it’s not that difficult. But dudes, the guy I was just watching was precise, yo! He wasn’t doing broad gestures, he was circling the individual dot that is me! Or my general vicinity, at least. Is he watching himself on camera? Is it a mirror? Did he spend the rest of the day practicing? I mean, what else does he do all day, he’s the friggin’ weather man! I am endlessly amazed. When the weather comes on, I am five years old again, and they have divine powers. Especially after two beers. (Two beers now…not when I was five. Strict one bottle limit.)

Quirk #3267

 

 

 

 

 

I really like blank notebooks. And my own handwriting, but only with certain pens. And if I make a mistake I don’t cross it out, I rip out the page and write it again. Or at least I used to, cause I got pretty tired of keeping diaries, what with it being so much work and all. But I still think blank notebooks are like the awesomest things in the world, especially really nice ones with spiffy covers.

Quirk #2874

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I’m waiting for the bus, I won’t move towards the door until the bus has actually pulled in. Even if I see it coming, I’m totally convinced that if I get up, it’ll magically turn into the bus going in the opposite route, or it’ll be going out of service or something. Coincidentally, that is my exact bus right there. It’s even going in the right direction. This makes me happy.

Quirk #239

 

 

 

 

 

I like Friends. Suck it.

Quirk #3751

 

 

 

 

 

When I’m looking around on a table for something or trying to remember a long lost factoid, I hold my hands up about half way to my face and twiddle my fingers. It’s like spirit fingers helps me find things.

Quirk #946

 

 

 

 

 

I obsessively arrange objects on desks, tables, windowsills, etc. All equally spaced apart at right angles, tallest to shortest. No, that is not my desk.

Quirk #3347

 

 

 

 

 

I pester my rabbits and insist on petting them until they start headbutting my hand away just cause I think its so cute. And then they bite me and I have a bruised wound for a week, with nobody to blame but myself.

Quirk #4272

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t use a bathroom stall if someone has just left it. For some reason, it really bothers me to see the person who just used the toilet I plan to use. It’s like their aura is still there watching me take a leak.

Quirk #483

 

 

 

 

 

Every time I go to my favourite thai place, I get golden curry tofu, one chilli, no red peppers. There’s a nearly identical place up the street (a former chef at my fave place left and started her own business, and is thusly my hero) and I once tried tofu pad thai there, but it was wrong – delicious, but wrong – and I will never try anything new there again.

Quirk #5852

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I asked Josh what other quirks I have, and apparently I walk differently when I know he’s looking at my butt. That may be a total overshare, but I seriously had no idea I did that.

 

And now, as a finale, the first image that came up when I googled ‘quirky’. I quite like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and feel free to share your own quirks. It might make you feel a little less quirky and a little more awesome. Awesomer like me.



et cetera