Christmastime in the Emerald City

{February 21, 2008}   BUNNIES!!!!!!!!

It’s motherfucking BUNNY TIME!!! I love my bunnies. I heart my bunnies. I adore my bunnies so much that I gave up my bedroom in my teeny weeny apartment and converted it into a room just for the bunnies. I stripped the tiles from the floor because they would chew them up and that’s bad for them. I peeled the shitty paint from the walls and scrubbed off the horrifically multicoloured acrylic job underneath that was starting to show through as the bunnies chewed at the edges of the baseboards. My Awesome Aunt and I patched up all the holes the bunnies made – and that I made trying vainly to even out the walls. I painted it a nice green, with white trimming, and got some raw pine slats to nail up cottage style about half way up all around the room (my dad helped with a lot of that, I’m not very good with a saw). Safe chewing now, all the wood is untreated and chemical free! There are no wires, no electrical outlets, no phone jacks, nothing. The floor is painted a soft brown and there are chewy toys and hay everywhere! It’s bunny land!!!

On a side note, I am short a few animals now. I got rid of my cats. I had to. Come on people, I had a bit of an unexpected bunny explosion and I had to deal with it. Apparently they can copulate through cage-dividers, hence more bunnies than I had anticipated. And you just can’t have seven animals running around a junior one bedroom without going insane. Especially not when two of them are whiny fucking cats who cry at all hours of the night just for attention. Not for lack of food, that was always in supply. They just wanted me to be awake because they were awake. I got cats because they’re supposed to be independent!!! Not on par with infants who don’t yet sleep through the night!!! So it was an easy decision. They will now be taken care of by someone who doesn’t resent them, and I can actually SLEEP! Seriously, my life has improved just by having a full nights sleep for the first time in months. Sorry kitties, I got you off the streets, now it’s someone else’s turn.

I also had to give up one of my bunnies, which was very difficult but necessary. You see, four of the five bunnies are family. The other was outcasted. Not allowed to play, not allowed to bond, not allowed to do anything except mope around away from all the other bunnies. If he went near their cages, he would get scratched or bitten. Poor little guy was becoming very depressed, and it wasn’t fair. So I called up a very sweet coworker who adores bunnies and all things cuddly, and who had recently lost her own big eared little friend to the great garden patch in the sky. I asked if she would be interested in giving him a new home. She thought about it and decided yes, she was ready for another bunny. So he now lives with her and is doing wonderfully! I still have visitation rights, natch, and he is adjusting perfectly. If I really love my bunnies, I have to do what’s best for them, right? Right.

Here is a short tribute to the not late but still absent Darth Vader. Posing for an emo album cover, apparently.

bunnies-and-such-010.jpg bunnies-and-such-008.jpg

Dark and mopey on the outside, super soft and cuddly and easily beat-up-able on the inside. 

So! Carrying on. Now that things are all adjusted and good, I thought it would be a good time to take some pictures and show the world my awesome house of bunnies! While looking around the room just after it’s completion, I decided that I want a picture of each rabbit over each respective cage with a brief bio for visitors. And for my own amusement, of course. And since many of you live far, far away and may never have the chance to visit said land-of-the-rabbits, I decided to sketch out the first drafts and general ideas here.


First, some pictures of the room itself to give you a general idea:

Before and after!

facebook-pictures-037.jpg bunnies-and-such-007.jpg

Woo improvement! And look at all the room they have!


This is their litter box corner! Complete with random chunks of wood for chewing, and a big ole basket of pine shavings for easy refills.


Hannibal is supremely happy to no longer be my coffee table. And that chair to the left is basically one giant chew toy. I don’t know if you can tell, because the wood behind is the same colour as the chairs innards, but there is a giant chunk missing out of the top of it. This is what happens when I get mad and don’t have anyone around to say PUT DOWN THE SAW!!! Yeah. Well, like I said, it’s been destroyed by rabbits already, it’s not like I damaged something I cared about. So it’s their’s now.


Free! Out in the open! Well, not yet, it’s not their turn to be out, but at least they’re not under a desk anymore! Okay, it was a table, not an actual desk. It’s not like they were confined or anything, it was just a pain in the ass to clean when the door only opened enough for them to get in and out, but not for me to reach in . Now I can move the cage around to clean without having to lift furniture! Sanitary!

Individual bios now, woohoo!


This is Finnegan Cabbage Esquire. He’s the head bunny ’round these here parts. First bunny, first love. Very well socialized and a very strong personality. He’ll come up to you if he feels like it, and ignore you if he feels like it. Let him do his thing, and you’ll get along fine. Piss him off, and he’ll stamp his feet, ignore you for days, or give you a nip. He won’t do much damage though, mostly he just headbutts your hand away if he doesn’t want attention, or pick your hand up with his mouth and fling it away. He’ll also fling his food dish around when in his dramatic I’m-not-coming-out-of-my-dressing-room-until-I-get-Evian-water-and-not-this-Aquafina-shit!!! mode. He’s a Netherlands Dwarf and very energetic. He’s responsible for most of the damage to the walls in the apartment.


This is Sunshine, named so because she doesn’t look very sunny. I’m down with the irony. She’s a very sweet girl, and very timid. Really not a fan of being picked up, but every now and then she’ll come up and try to climb your leg or give you kisses on your arms when you’re not looking. She can be noisy when she’s excited or stressed out, making these strange screechy noises. She doesn’t bite, unless you count floor tiles, which she will chew to her hearts content. Also, she seems to think she’s constantly pregnant. This means ongoing nesting behaviour, jumping in the litter box and pushing the shavings around, bouncing back on forth on her front legs to pat it down and starting all over again. She’ll do this to couch cushions, blankets, your face, anything. She’s a mini rex, a breed known for their super soft velvety fur. She and Finnegan fell instantly in love, and share a cage. They can’t be seperated for very long or they get depressed, especially her. She’s also the biggest of all the bunnies, nearly twice as big as Finnegan (he being a dwarf, her being a mini, the next size up). He likes the fat-bottomed girls, methinks.

Here they are in love:


They spend the majority of the day licking each others faces.

On to the babies! Sunshine had six babies, only two of which survived, Hannibal and Brutus. This is what they used to look like:

n502474608_115053_6951.jpg n502474608_115063_9340.jpg

Gah! So precious and gross at the same time! They used to make little squawky noises and wobble around on their useless little legs. They grew so fast though – within two weeks they had grown a teeny bit of fine fur like peach fuzz, and their eyes opened. Watching them trying to hop and just falling over was hilariously cute. Anyways, that’s Brutus on the left, Hannibal on the right. You can tell Brutus apart really easily because of the pink strip up his head. That turned into the white mohawk he still has, just like his daddy, while Hannibal is a solid brown.

Now six and a half months old, these twins are all grown up and as different as night and day. Let’s start with Brutus!


A little traumatized by living with his psychotic brother before being removed for his own safety, Brutus is still coming out of his shell. He’s timid, like his mom, and doesn’t care for unexpected petting or handling. He’s becoming friendlier, though, and when he is in the mood for human contact, he’ll rub his nose into the palm of your hand or put his paws on your shoulder. He has his mothers weight and shyness, but physically looks almost identical to his dad. The easiest way to tell them apart is that Finnegan has more white around his head and shoulders, and is the only bunny to have a lovestruck mate at his heels at all times. Brutus doesn’t seem to get along very well with others, and it may require some extra effort to socialize him. He’s still very much an enigma and hasn’t really bonded with either myself or the rest of his clan.

I’m sure he’ll be fine. After all, I managed to tame this little monster:


That’s right. Hannibal. You all remember him and the damage he did to my fingers and various limbs. He got a good chunk out of my lip and nose once too, and my leg is still scarred up. But he’s gotten better! I’ve been working on the whole social thing with him. Sure, he still bites on occasion, that’s just his homicidal nature. But instead of biting with his razor sharp teeth and tearing flesh, he bites with his jaws, leaving only a bruise. Yes, rabbits can choose how they injure you. And overall he is far less malicious. He usually only bites when I’m doing something he doesn’t like, such  trimming his nails or moving too fast when reaching into his cage to fetch his upturned food dish. Gone is the crazy little monster who would fly up off the floor and attack anything that moved:


He’s much tamer. I can even do the bunny trance on him more easily than with any of the other bunnies. For those not in the know, this involves cradling the bunny on his back and stroking his nose slowly until his eyes half-close and his head starts to fall back. He’ll be completely hypnotized with his little paws sticking straight up in the air, and he’ll usually stay that way for quite some time until you lift him right side up again or something startles him. It’s very useful when you have to trim nails or check their teeth and would rather not be injured. That’s right, I tamed the monster. Look at him now:


Still got that crazy look in his eyes, but he’s lounging, relaxed. See the paw splayed out in front there? He’s chilling, not all wound up ready to pounce. Sometimes he’ll even spread all the way out on his tummy with his two legs sticking out behind him like chicken drumsticks. That means super relaxed bunny. And when he doesn’t think anybody is looking he’ll even go up to mom’s cage and give her a kiss! That’s right. Super crazy psycho bunny has some lovey dovey tendencies deep down.



Well, that’s all for now folks. Thanks for indulging me on one of my rare sappy moments. I’m sure next week I’ll be all pissed off at something else while I try to get a phone installed in my apartment, then a decent smoke alarm, then a doorbell, then a proper shower head holder, all the while continuing to battle the constant idiocy of the world around me. But for now, I’ve finished a major project, my quality of life has gone up now that I have the majority of my apartment to myself again (Sleep! Oh precious sleep! And no fur on everything! And I can buy a new futon and not have it chewed to shreds!)

All is well in bunny land!



joebecca says:

holy crap are you a picture whore!! LOL LOVE IT!!!

your bunnies are FAB! i love them!! what a nice bunny mommy you are!!

talea says:

Your bunnies scare the fuck out of me and you gave away the only one I was willing to be anywhere near.
I’m proud of you for getting rid of your kitties. They were smelly and noisy.
The bunny room looks very nice though, kudos to you and your dad.

romi41 says:

Even though I am a major cat person and was sad that you had to get rid of your kitties, I was in a total bunny-trance by the time you finished this!! 🙂 I mean the way you take care of them, their cute bunny-gazes, the individual bios…I think it all sparked some extra-ovulation in me (…is that okay to say out-loud???….hmmm…)

@ joebecca: i am TOTALLY turning into a picture whore! i love it too! i get to be an exibitionist!

@ talea: well, if i ever get another bunny (i won’t! i promise! not for a very long time!…maybe) i will get gentle floppy eared ones again, they are less destructive generally speaking. on the plus side, you can come to my place without it being all smelly and the bunnies are all in a seperate room.

@ romi: it’s the intarwubs, you can say whatever you want! i totally fell instantly in love with bunnies after i bought finnegan in a moment of spontaneity. all my bunnies were spontaneous purchases. the cats were the only ones i thought about. ha! that worked out well. next time talea comes over i’ll ask her to get a pic of me holding hannibal in a trance (it’s a two handed thing)

oh Brutus is so cute…I like the now pic a little better than the first born!

[…] vision) pineapple topped, teriyaki sauce smothered, cheese and tomato, and enough lettuce to feed Emerald’s bunnies for a week hamburger and chili cheese […]

Red says:

Holy freaking cow! Look at them there bunnies! You have bunnies like I have dogs! They are cuuuute bunnies! Love how their little room turned out. You are a great mama!

Josh says:

Awwww, so cute. Sami had a bunny for a while. It was a dwarf, and it was gray. But they didn’t really know what they were doing with the whole rabbit thing and ended up giving it to someone who could give it more room and better care.

I would say that if I were one of your bunnies I would be Finnegan Cabbage Esquire. I too have a strong personality, and do things on my own schedule. Also I’m small and energetic. Plus I love me some fat bottom girls. 😉

Side note, that bunny trance thing works on me too.

Steve says:

That’s a lot of lucky rabbit’s feet. 🙂

Paul B. says:

Your blog has become like some weird version of “Cribs” – I just don’t think anyone pulled out rabbits on Cribs before though.

Ha, sweet! I totally love showing off my crib and ‘hood, yo. Shiznat! And…such. Or something. Blogging world watch out! I’ve got a surprise comin’ up for ya! It’s going to be fun times!!!

romi41 says:

I love suprises and fun times!

My guess: you’re going to reveal a special talent on your blog, and post a home-video that showcases it! Oooh…I can’t wait! 🙂

I love your rabbits, especially Hannibal. I didn’t know that they were so affectionate. How sweet to have a rabbit put his paws on your shoulder. Your blog makes me consider getting one. I really love reading about them.

Aw, I so have to get pictures of him in his little upside down bunny trance! Super sweet! And Brutus is warming up too! He lives with me out in the living room right now, until he and his brother get fixed and I can bond them.

Maytina says:

Hmm, I’m reaalllly late on this. However, I am so very proud of you for giving up your cats and I am soooo impressed with the bunny room. Oh! We could make little name tags for above their cages, but out of safe wood and veggie paint! How cute would that be?! I still can’t get over how cute it is they have their own room.

Lucky says:

I love that you have these cute, sweet, fluffy bunnies on here and you started out with “IT’S MOTHERFUCKING BUNNY TIME!” haha! You are obviously a very good bunny mama!! 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: