Christmastime in the Emerald City











{January 31, 2008}   Because I’m a Meme Whore

 I stole this from the Queen! No, not the dumpy old one who runs a country, the sassy cool one. 

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40 Secrets About Yourself
Be HONEST no matter what!

1.What’s your natural hair colour?

Yeah, you know that not-really-a-colour shade of mousy-ass brown? Yeah, that garbage.

2. where was your default pic taken?

My avatar thing? It’s not a picture of me, it’s “The Emerald” by Alphonse Mucha. Next tattoo, hopefully.

3. What’s your middle name?

Irene. What the hell kind of shit is that? Irene?!?! Thanks for wasting all your creativity on my first name, mom. And Irene is her middle name too – extra uncreative!!! (But here’s a fun fact: Queenie’s middle name is Elizabeth, which is my grandmother’s middle name. Not the one who threatens to crucify people though, the other one.)

4. Your current relationship status?

Single single single! I mean there is Awesome Dude, but that’s all new and up in the air, just the way I like it. We’re all “I like you, you like me, but neither of us is in the mood for anything long term right now, so let’s just keep doing what we’re doing and figure out as we go along.” Sounds good to me! Good for the sexy times, but I still get to leave my panties on the back of my toilet and stay out as late as I want without having to call anyone.

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?

Well, I did just mention the sexy times, so I’m assuming he does…the boys tend to get tired of my antics around the three month mark though, which is today….and he’s been hellof busy for quite some time, which makes me nervous…but I’m trying not to be such an insecure neurotic freakshow, so I’m going to say yes, he likes me back.

6. What is your current mood?

Fucking cold! Bring on summer!

7.What color underwear are you wearing?

Black with red lacey trimming. Drool away boys, drool away.

8.What makes you happy?

Weed. Sex. Family Guy. Beer. Motley Crue. Venti Caramel Apple Spice from Starbucks. Watching fat people fall down. Ugly children. Old people that are still cool. My rabbits. Being told I’m the most crushable girl on the internet. Um….making cookies for cute boys. Yeah, I know. I’m perfect.

9. There wasn’t a number nine when I stole this one. Not sure if there was one when the one I stole got stolen. 

10. If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?

Not a goddamned thing, people. Not. One. Thing.

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?

Motherfuckin’ dragon, yo! Torch that village! Don’t tell me they don’t exist, I’ve read Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Hatcher. 

12. Ever had a near death expeirence?

Hah! Yes, hence the scar.

13. Something you do a lot?

Smoke weed, obssess about things that get on my nerves. Sweep up rabbit shit.

14. What’s the name of the song stuck in your head right now?

Prince’s “Little Red Corvette.” Thanks for telling me Prince was on the radio, Talea. Jerk.

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?

Queenie!

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?

His name was Norman Osbourne, and he was in my daycare.

17. When was the last time you cried?

Ugh. Okay guys, you should know by now I’m kind of an emotional basket case crazy person. The last time I cried was a few days ago when one of those prevent-animal-cruelty commercials came on. I apparently ‘lack the emotional clotting mechanism’ which is why the tiniest things piss me off so damned much and I cry at the drop of an ugly damned hat.  

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?

I don’t think a bunch of drunken old people at a trailor park is considered a large audience, so no. And grade school Christmas pageants don’t count.

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?

INVISABILITY!!! Oh man, I am so nosey, I would be a fly on the wall EVERYWHERE!!!

20. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Smile. A guy with a cute smile knocks me on my ass.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?

After they failed at my grande non-fat EXTRA FUCKING FOAMY vanilla latte, I switched to a venti caramel apple spice with whipped cream and caramel topping. Except those bastards happened to mention the calorie content. Way to go, are you TRYING to lose my business?

22. What’s your biggest secret?

Hmmm. I’m such a loudmouth, I really don’t have very many, except that I’m far more insecure than you’d think. That and I’ve got a total Lolita complex. Former Awesome Dude (who is now Touch-My-Metal-Goatee Sonofabitch) was all about the voyeurism and I was all “Oooh! Ooh! Can we get a cute little barely-legal skinny girl in a kilt?” He was all “But I don’t like skinny girls!” and I was all “But IIIIII do!”

You’re WELCOME.

23. What’s your favorite colour?

Green, DUUUHHH!!!!!

24. When was the last time you lied?

Um, my entire job is a lie. I answer the phones for about fifty different companies and it’s supposed to look like the entire place is theirs. Not true. I’m also supposed to be really professional and not do my retard dance in front of clients or answer the phone “Heeyyyy, ‘sup?” when they call to ask if they have mail. But I do anyways, and that’s precisely why everyone loves me.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?

I. Love. Cartoons. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles all the way, man! (But only the retro one, none of this new crap where they don’t have pupils. That’s just creepy.)

27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?

Um. Water.

28. Do you speak any other language?

I’ve got a few catch phrases in other languages, but I’m not fluent in anything. Wo est de nacht toiletten and such.

29. What’s your favourite smell?

MALE!!!

30. If you could describe life in one word what would it be?

Multi-faceted

31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?

Two nights ago my friend Cait took me tanning to get some Vitamin D into my winter-blah’d self and gave me a big ole hug before I got on the streetcar. Bitch is taking off to some island for a week or so of fun and sun. I lub you Cait!

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?

No, and I don’t really think that would be as romantic as it sounds. Ugh, you’re clothes are wet and clingy and itchy, and curly hair doesn’t look good when it gets wet.

33. What are you thinking about right now?

I’m hoping Mr. Awesome Dude gets a friggin’ day off work soon. In want of the nookie! The sloppy makeouts! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! 

34. What should you be doing?

Pffft. Getting nookie more often.

35. What was the last thing that made you upset?

Ugh. EVERYTHING. Hello, we’ve had this conversation.

36. How often do you pray?

Hmmm. Other than using the Lord’s name in vain or in some form of profanity, I really don’t. I’m all about the occasional meditating just for the sake of feeling connected to the world around me.

37. Do you like working in the yard?

Ha. Downtown living, suckers. There ain’t no lawn to mow in these here parts, and that’s just the way I damn well like it. I love the green and all that, so long as someone else is doing the tending. I’m good with plants though. But mowing and raking? No thanks.

38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?

Hottentots. That would actually be kind of ridiculous though. I know a cute guy with the last name Winter. How cool would the name Emerald Winter be? Eh? Eh? Yeeeaahhhh.

39. Name 5 things in your closet.

My closet is difficult to get into, and isn’t even as deep as the hangers are wide, so things are on an angle. It’s in the bedroom, which is being turned into a bunny room. So right now it holds clothes I never wear. Soon it will hold gigantic stashes of rabbit food, rabbit hay, rabbit pine shavings, extra rabbit accessories, and other rabbit paraphernalia.

40. Do you act different around your crush?

Awesome Dude is just as anal retentive as me. We went to breakfast a while back, and while we were waiting for the food, he rearranged the cutlery while I sorted the sugars and sweeteners. However, I do try to be less of an insecure weirdo around him.

*********************

There you go, hope that was fun!

And because I’m super nosey, I want other people to do the same meme!

Tag, you’re it Talea, Josh and Romi!

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Josh says:

3) You could tell everyone your middle name is “I ream”.
7) Would you believe I actually started drooling before you even suggested it? When I read that I laughed my ass off. I actually salivated. God I’m a dork.
11) A dragon? Nice. Like a Reign of Fire style dragon, or a Puff the magic dragon?



Josh says:

Whoops, I wasn’t done.

16) Norman Osbourne is also the name of the Green Goblin from Spider Man. At least, that’s what all the geeks who are into comic books tell me. I definitely wouldn’t remember that piece of trivia on my own.
17) So you’re saying you’re a female.
22) I don’t like skinny girls either. Well sometimes I do. But I more often like thick women, with curves. Not that I require tits and ass. Just one or the other will suffice. I do like kilts though. I’ve got the Scottish blood.
29) Male? Really? That’s odd. Odd like a fox! I happen to smell like male all the time, if that’s what you’re into. Parts of me smell even male-ier than others.
32) Perhaps you haven’t experienced a warm rain before. When it’s blistering hot and humid, and the warm rain cools you off, and washes the sweat away. It feels really nice. I love rain in the summer. I’ve never kissed anyone in the rain either though. More of a kissing deficit than a rain problem.
1-40) Jesus Christ you’re horny. The world needs more women like you.
38) there’s a German guy on YouTube who is named Aeric Winter, but that’s not his real name, just one of the characters in a novel he’s writing. His other account is Gaeri Summer.

Dang. Now I gotta do it. Well I don’t have to, but I don’t feel like thinking of a good topic to discuss, and I don’t feel like editing any of the posts I have partially written, and I don’t want to have to actually think, so what the hell.



Red says:

I still get to leave my panties on the back of my toilet … umm, explain please.



@ Josh:

3) Yeah, but people would still hear “Irene”. People don’t listen. “Hello, thank you for calling Company A.” “Oh, hi, is this Company XYZ?” No you idiot, I just said what company it was!!!
7) Sweet! Mission accomplished. I got’s the panties that makes the boys drool.
11) TOTALLY Reign of Fire style. Though I kind of thought that movie sucked ass. Plus, the song Puff the Magic Dragon makes me cry.j
16) Liar. NERD!!! And the Spiderman movies sucked ass. I don’t care who you are or what you do, they sucked ass. Royally.
17) Yeah, that and other essential parts of me are female. But seriously, I shouldn’t just start randomly bursting into tears or having to fight hoimcidal tendencies. Not good for the blood pressure!
22) MAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I have curves and T&A, without being a fat chick. I FUCKING RULE!!!!!!
29) You know, there is a point where it goes beyond ‘male’ and hits ‘funky.’
32) Ugh. Okay fine, next warm rain, I’ll just start tonsil molesting random attractive strangers.
1-40) The world certainly does!!! And you can blame Awesome Man for not being around, dammit! Next email to him will be NOOKIENOOKIENOOKIE!!!!!!
38) Anyone who replaces what is normally the letter A with an AE (like faery) is gay and deserves to be kicked in the face. (Not for being gay…just for being retarded.)

And yes, go do the meme! I AM A NOSEY BASTARD!!!

@ Red: Ooh, you should do the meme too! And okay, Awesome Dude has a ridiculously clean house. Like the Hockey Night in Canda towels are perfectly arranged in the bathroom. I’m only obsessive about things that need sorting, like CDs and books. I leave my panties on the back of the toilet every morning. I’m sure he wouldn’t be down with that. However, it doesn’t matter, because although Awesome Dude is totally shnexy and down with the shnexy times, we both still consider ourselves perma-singles. WORKS OUT LOVERLY.

(and to clarify to anyone, it’s not like a shallow fuck-buddies deal, I really do adore the guy to bits, he’s super sweet…we both just like our indemapendence.)



talea says:

LOL….watching fat people fall down?? I laughed so hard I farted.
ALWAYS funny.



AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! I could totally see you laughing until you farted! I lub you for that.



Josh says:

I think he spelled it Aeric Winter because he’s German and they spell shit weird.



romi41 says:

This was a friggin shit-show of hilarity, I wouldn’t expect anything less! 🙂 And holy crap, I LOVE that you love retro ninja turtles (screw the new ones with no pupils, hahaha!)

Okay, so even though I don’t do memes on my blog (I don’t), I think you’re wicked cool and since we’re going to meet in person I should probably give you a sneak-peek, so here’s a bunch of questions answered at random (haha, random):

1. Natural hair colour?

Everyone always assumes that a brown person’s natural hair colour is black, but not so; it’s “very dark brown” bitches, but I like to give it a kick, so it usually had a dark reddish/mahogany flair 😉

4. Relationship status?

My current relationship status is fucking single; if you don’t believe me, spend 5 seconds on my fucking blog (I don’t sound bitter do I? Haha 😉 )

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?

-Well first of all, yes I do have a crush, and if he doesn’t like me back, then holy crap, I have been wasting a lot of fucking time, hahaha 🙂

7. Colour underwear?

-My current underwear is black, but unlike Em, it’s just really baggy and tent-like, granny-style (should I have left out that detail?…)

11. What animal would I be?

-A fucking fox, because that way guys would have to say to me: “Heyyy foxy lady”, even if they didn’t think I was hot…HA!

12. Near death experience?

-Yes, when I was 3. I don’t remember, but apparently I had a freak seizure and almost died, but my dad put me in a cold bath and gave me CPR to revive me till the ambulance came, and his fast-thinking saved me from possible death or at least severe-brain damage; THANKS DAD! 🙂

14. Song stuck in your head right now?

-I’m so embarrassed but it’s “Hot” by Avril Lavigne….hahahaha…please don’t judge me 😉

17. Last time you cried?

-Really lame, but it was this morning; I happened to flip onto the last 10min of the Will Smith movie “Pursuit of Happyness”, and when they showed him walking around the street smacking himself all retarded-like because he was so happy he had gotten that job (and thus didn’t have to be homeless anymore), I got some goddamn tears in my eyes, hahaha 😉

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?

-No, but it is my dream to showcase my karaoke stylings in an arena-type setting someday…

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?

-Grande non-fat no-foam gingerbread latte (I know Christmas is over, but my friends at starbucks kept a secret stash of gingerbread for me so I’ll be taking full advantage until it runs out 😉 )

23. Favourite colour?

-In terms of what I can pull off and look hot in: burgundy or purple…in terms of just a colour, navy blue (haha, not a very straight answer 😉 )

28: Other languages?

-I can speak pretty sweet French, and I can speak broken, laughable Punjabi, a.k.a. my parents’ native tongue

29: Favourite smell?

-Scented Vanilla candles, whether they are lit or un-lit; best smell by-fucking-far 🙂

30: Describe life in one word?

-Astonishing (when I’m not being immature and complaining about everything that is, haha)

31: When was the last time you gave/receive a hug?

-This week at work; it’s funny, people at work hug me fairly often; too bad I work with them, and/or they’re all taken, and/or they’re girls, so I won’t be bangin’ any of em…oh well…

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?

Fuck. No. Dammit.

38. If you could have any last name, what would it be?

-McHottie….ohhhh yeah 😉

Alright then, that’s a good starter in the “get to know me” process, hope it helps Em! 🙂



Haha, no worries Romi. I emailed Awesome Dude this morning and I was all “Yeah….I know you’re super busy…which is fine…but I’m not going to lie: I could use the nookie. In the meantime, I have been girldancing around my apartment with a head full of hair dye, a bottle of beer and Rihanna on the iTunes.”

That’s right. I have discovered UMBRELLA!!! And I sing it at TOP FUCKING VOLUME MY FRIENDS!!!!!! I FUCKING RULE!!!!



romi41 says:

Hahahaha…that’s the best morning email, and you sing Umbrella????! LMAO…remind when I meet you: put some cocktails in ya and get you to sing “Umbrella” for me…haha 😉



This morning was S.O.S. 😛



romi41 says:

…will tomorrow be “shut up and drive?”…hahaha 😉



“Hottentots” – that is so random, I love it. Can I call you that now when I comment?



@ Romi: Nope, I’m one of those people who will only listen to one song from an entire album. It’s called one hit wonders. There are a few select bands for whom I will listen to the entire album, but usually it has to be a mishmash.

@ Ms. Barclay: I will love you forever if you refer to me as Hottentots. I want that on my business card. Or Grand Poobah, I’d be down with that as well. But Hottentots is pretty frikkin’ awesome.



Josh says:

Romi: Neener neener neener, Romi has a crush! (read that last part sing song style, as if were making fun of you in a childish way, which I was) Oooooh! Well good luck sinking your hooks into him. I’m sure you’ll do just fine, you are after all a female and therefore a natural.

Em: Yes, I too like “Umbrella”. But it’s way less cool though when I dance around the house in my pajamas singing it. Pretty homo actually. I had the same problem with Toxic and Gimme Gimme. Damn youz Brittney! Damn youz to hell!



Josh, I think it would be much sexier if you put on my Spongebob pyjamas and danced around. I can lend them to you if you promise to send video footage. It won’t end up on the internet…I…promise *snicker*



Josh says:

Em: That would be pretty funny, I’m not sure how sexy it would be. What sort of pajamas are they? Like long flannel ones, or panties? Cause that would make a big difference. I’ve always thought I look much sexier in panties. But that’s just me.



romi41 says:

hahaha…Josh I love how you “neener-neener” sang about my crush 😉

He’s a slippery fish at times, but I’ll catch him, and once I do, it won’t be none of that “catch and release” bullshit, hahaha 😉



@ Josh: they are flannel pants, but I’m sure there are plenty of Spongebob Panties to procure if that’s your thing. It’s Canadia, dude! I can’t sleep in just panties, I’d freeze!

@ Romi: put on a pair of Spongebob panties and you’ll be set.

@ Josh and Romi: I love that entire conversations come up in the comments section. I love my blog friends 😀



romi41 says:

aww…I love you too you crazy fun friend! 😉



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