Christmastime in the Emerald City

{November 16, 2007}   Some Pictures to Fully Embellish My Awesome Strength and Agility

Hey, remember when I told the story about dragging a dresser home from someone’s curb and lugging it up the stairs?

Well here is the mother fucking dresser:


Okay, it’s a little wonky looking because the click-and-drag photo editor here doesn’t follow the rule of thirds. But it’s big and fucking heavy. That’s wood baby, none of this Ikea light-as-a-feather mumbo jumbo.

 And here are the motherfucking stairs I descended with my newfound treasure.


Like something out of Hitchcock’s ‘Vertigo’ right? I mean, the fucking colour is bad enough, but on top of that, there are two more flights of these babies that you can’t even see. And don’t even get me started on how narrow they are. Seriously. Turning corners is hazardous even when not carrying furniture single handedly. If you look carefully, you will see my downstairs cunt of a neighbour has a lovely little welcome mat. It’s narrow end is almost half the width of the staircase. That, my friends, is a narrow fucking winding staircase.

And I got that fucker up there. All by myself. I rule.

I will now accept your glowing accolades, and I thank you in advance.


talea says:

First, I’m going to correct you. Cuz I’m a friend like that. You did not descend the stairs, you Ascended them. Which is much more difficult and accolade-deserving.
Second, I don’t know how you did that. You must have looked like an idiot. And if stupid downstairs neighbour would have come out and you’d have blocked her? Well, you’d be lucky to be alive today.

Dudette that’s bad ass. You’re one tough bitch. I’d totally blow you right now, but I have to go make dinner. How bout later?

I need to move a refrigerator tomorrow. Wanna help?

rotgutmccoy says:

Yeah, I’ve got to move a four hundred pound murphy bed into a garage appartment with a zig zaggy hall and a door way that’s so narrow I can’t walk through it with my shoulders straight out. I’m gonna need some burly bitches to assist me. And it looks great too. Your drawers, not the murphy bed. And by drawers I mean your new dresser, not your panties. Anyway, good job there He-man. How’s that freakishly strong meat bag of yours working out for you? And you aren’t joking, that’s one tiny ass hallway. most tiles are one foot by one foot, so that would make the stairs two and a half feet (30 inches) wide. And that’s narrower than your standard interior door, damn!

romi41 says:

You so fucking rule; and I love how you called our neighbour a cunt…lol…I don’t even have to tell you you’re the coolest person ever, ’cause I’d be shocked if you didn’t already know 😉

rotgutmccoy says:

Oh wow, so I guess you live in the same building as Romi, and your work with both Romi and Talea. That’s both very cool and very fucked up. (internet bloggin incest anyone?) I guess y’all support each others neurosis? And I suppose I do too. So rock on with that.

Maytina says:

Woah! You said it was narrow but damn! You can do whatever it is you decide to do, that’s one of the most awesome things about you! Is it bad that I covet that pink staircase? I think I need to bring the kids by and get some pics of Helena in front of it. Maybe in her pink fun fur coat?!

Paul B. says:

Wow that’s some grip you got… just take it easy on the bends ok.

greenmetropolis says:

@ Talea, yes, I noticed the typo, and am pissed at myself for letting you notice it before I could correct it!

@ Josh: really, I’m not that strong at all. I’m actually kind of a weakling, which is why I felt the need to demand congratulatory statements from the blogosphere. I’m sure I looked damned foolish during my AScent. And no, Romi and I do not live in the same building. She meant to write “your” neighbour, not “our” neighbour. It’s a quadplex, and all three other people are jerks.

@ Evyl/Josh: no, I move no furniture that I haven’t pilfered myself. Unless there is beer involved.

@ Romi: I’m glad you like the ‘c’ word as much as I do! 😛 Nothing quite like it.

@ Paul: Thanks, I learned that the hard way. I was sore the next morning…

joebec says:

you are sooo the chicka! i have some shit to move too, can you bring the guns and help me out??

greenmetropolis says:

Dude, if you pay me in beer, so there!

greenmetropolis says:

Dude, if you pay me in beer, so there!

Why have I not been here in like forever to see this? Did you fall off of my blogroll somehow? I must check on that…but to the point. Holy crap you are wicked cool and amazing to boot!

greenmetropolis says:

Thanks cowgal!

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