Christmastime in the Emerald City

{October 17, 2007}   Weird Ass Things People Have Googled to Get to My Site (Check For Updates Near Daily)

Okay, this is starting to get retarded. I know my Sassy Friend did something similar to this, but seriously, some of these are retarded and are worth mentioning.

From now on, I am going to keep an ongoing list of all the retarded terms people have googled that somehow led them to this here page. What…the hell-ass?!?

Starting today.


“I fuck my neighbour”

“Can I please quit blah”

“Man taking picture of fat lady camel toe”

“Dad hit on me”

“Getting a little buzzed for job interview”

          ….and why do people have this much time on their hands?


“fedex ups purolator dhl tnt”

      ….hmmmmm, we all know my beef with the postal officebut fedex? i hope this person at least read my site and got more entertainment than shipping documents to al-habib wherever.


“Toronto Independent Music Awards”

   ….this one was googled a LOT, which might explain the plethora of nasty comments I didn’t bother posting about how I was generally a bitch for not appreciating all their hard work and corporate contributions.

“Greenmetropolis tit”

“Greenmetropolis fucks her neighbour”

   ….both of which lead me to believe that somebody is fucking with my head. Or trying to.

“Ways to get munny for fluff friends”


“Bloor and Yonge “Exchange Station””

“Fat Lady Camel Toe”

Okay, I know I’ve gone on about fat people and made a camel toe comment once. But people why?!?! Why do you want to see these things together?!


“Greenmetropolis monkey tit”



“Amsterdam Framboise” (I LOVE Amsterdam Framboise….but where the hell did I mention it?)

“Peeing” (See? I knew it would boost my ratings)

“Not getting a job and asking why.” (Because you’re a fucktard)

“Greenmetropolis chick with monkey tits” (I do not have monkey tits.)

“How to fuck my neighbour” (Can’t help you, my neighbour’s a douchebag)


“Assmonkey” (a favourite term, of course)

“Round Table to rent in Calgary”

“Fuck Geny” (I don’t know who Geny is, or why Jenny would be so gay to spell her name like that.”

“Court Agent Calgary.”

“Letter about my daily routine.” (I’d like to write a fucking letter or two….)


How awesome is it that the word Fuck leads straight to my page. Sweeet.


Search Views
wife fucks for money 1
costco, problems 1


Search Views
fuck 1


joebec says:

“getting a little buzzed for job interview” now there is someone after my own heart!

Paul B. says:

Are you sure thats a Google list? Looks more like a life statement.. well except maybe the camel toe thingey.

I still think my best was “Britney Spears eaten by T-Rex”

greenmetropolis says:

Hahaha, sweet. THis is going to be the funnest post ever, because I’m just going to keep on adding to it.

hah…nice. obviously the i fuck my neighbour one was british given the spelling of neighbor.

i’ve had some doozies recently too…just in the past few days i’ve gotten:

fat man blow jobs, auto fellatio, tampon dildos, pee on you, jake and the fat man pics, utah porn, dutch tits, reenactment of child birth and hedda nussbaum.

I mean I don’t ever remember writing about Hedda Nussbaum 😉

Paul B. says:

Why Greenmet tit? Where’s the other one gone?

greenmetropolis says:

Yeah, seriously. I don’t get it.

it seems like you enjoy talking about taboos. I enjoy talking about what pisses me off. I think we have a lot in common as well.

joebec says:

seriously i only wish mine were this exciting!!

greenmetropolis says:

You can always dream 😀
I don’t know, I’m pretty weirded out by all these search terms…also the brouhaha I got over insulting the TIMA’s…well, lesson learned: piss people off, and your ratings go up.

Dad hit on me…Haha…I hope that wasn’t the son googling that…

greenmetropolis says:

No kidding, huh? I’m more weirded out by the monkey tit one. WTF?!?!

Paul B. says:

Holy crap… what the fuck is up with you and monkeys? You are like the Candian female version of Michael jackson.. umm.. well something like that.

Like seriously .. who the fuck would even be looking for “monkey tits” (single OR plural). Either you need to be drinking way more than what you are or you seriously need to get your chest waxed.

And like.. what is the deal with you and your neighbour? Like hello?

greenmetropolis says:

yeah, dude, i can totally say with all honesty that i do not have monkey tits. and my neighbour? the only way i’d fuck her is with a bicycle pump up the ass with no lube whatsoever. then maybe she’d leave me the fuck alone and stop playing her obnoxious fucking ‘new jazz’ at 6:30 A. fucking M.

Paul B. says:

The only people who play Jazz at 0630 in the morning are the insane, the sexually frustrated and maybe some nuns. I’d go with the second one, which means she needs the pump.

But here’s the thing.. I don’t even know what monkey tits look like. I was almost tempted to Google it but i was afraid I would end up back here anyway.

greenmetropolis says:

Haha. Whatever. I’m sure my tits put monkey tits to shame.

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