Christmastime in the Emerald City

{September 4, 2007}   HighSchoolers: Get Off My Bus, and Get on a Short One

Ah. September. Back to school time for all the kiddies out there, and a fucking nightmare for the rest of us who have enjoyed their absence on the bus all summer.

I really dislike high school kids. Anyone having read my recent post about not giving a fuck about being popular in high school might already be aware of this. What gets me most about these children is the snotty sense of entitlement – which is what pisses me off about most people who piss me off.

Grade school kids – up until their final year, at least – tend to have some of the wide eyed wonder and general respect for/fear of those taller than them to be at least tolerable. The younger they are, the cuter this attribute is, provided they keep their mouths shut. As soon as high school hits, however, these kids are the kings of their fucking world, and it makes me want to smack every last one of them.

For some reason, although grade schoolers look up to high schoolers with envy and awe (remember how big grade 8 kids seemed to you?), high schoolers tend not to look at university/college goers with anything resembling that same respect. I’m not sure why this is – perhaps it’s because although it’s fairly standard for one to attend a post-secondary institution, it’s not mandatory and therefore not a definite part of the future of these children. Or, perhaps it’s simply a tad difficult to look up to someone who walks around in sweatpants, oblivious to the fifteen pounds they’ve gained since highschool.

So, having no particular idol to fear/look up to, these high school kids seem to consider themselves at the top of their pile. As though there is no life after grade 12, nobody older who might resent having to listen to their first day of school bitching.

Dear highschool children: you may go fuck yourselves for the following reasons.

1.) You have summer vacation. The rest of us do not. Quit your bitching.

2.) You have the opportunity to receive an education that thousands of starving children would kill for. Shut up, you ingrateful little bastards, lest your legs be chained to a sewing machine in your next life.

3.) Grade 11 algebra is not that hard. Wait until you get to college/university and get bombarded with equations that make you want to cry, knowing on top of it that you paid thousands of dollars to be there. Unless your parents are paying for you, in which case you can go fuck yourselves further.

4.) Your kilt is a skirt, not a belt. Nobody is interested in seeing your underage ass other than the pedophiles on the downtown bus routes. You are ruining our society by encouraging these individuals, you ugly-ass prostitots. Put on a pair of fucking pants.

5.) You have to wear a uniform that your parents pay for. Oh my god, conforming is hell. Guess what? The working population has to conform too – only I have to buy my own clothes to fit the standard dress code and they are far more fucking expensive. I also have to worry about what I’m going to wear each day.

6.) Your hoop earrings and makeup do not make you look grown up. They make you look retarded. Stop it. Stop it with the shitty highlights also.

7.) To the boys: stop wearing your pants around your ass. You are also encouraging the pedophiles on the downtown busses, and tempting me to kick your exposed ass.

8.) Nobody is interested in your conversation. Like, at all. Like, shut the fuck up.

These are just a few of the observations that inspired thoughts of violence on the bus this morning. And the fact that it pisses me off…well, it pisses me off even further. I’m well out of my school years, and I’m far too young for children of my own to start worrying about this dreaded time of year. These should be my stress-free, non-Walmart-back-to-school-special time of life. And these needy little fuckers on the bus are just plain ruining it for me.



talea says:

I agree. Kilts are not belts. Stop acting like whores.

nahole says:

You know Greenie, it’s not just fucking high school kids that fucking suck – it’s pretty much fucking everyone. I was in a fucking store yesterday and this fucking old cockgobbler was on the fucking phone shouting about connecting sewer lines and shit. It was like, “dude, what the fuck is wrong with you – we don’t want to hear ANYTHING from you or about you – SHUT THE FUCK UP.” And this boner biter was fucking old and fat. He was an asshole like everyone else.

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